Have you ever wondered why you feel secure in some relationships but anxious or distant in others? Or why the same relationship patterns seem to repeat, no matter how hard you try to change them?

The answer may lie in attachment theory.

Many of us know we should set boundaries - with partners, family, friends, colleagues - but when it comes to actually saying “no”, guilt, fear, or discomfort often creeps in. If you’re ever wondered why setting boundaries feels so hard, you’re not alone. Boundaries are more than personal preferences; they’re rooted in psychology, attachment, and even nervous system regulation.

We are hardwired to seek out human connection throughout our lives. At all stages of life, we seek out connectivity with others, and sometimes these relationships are healthy, while other times they are not. As infants, we seek out the care of others in order to survive physically, and as we grow older, we seek out connection with others in order to survive and thrive mentally and emotionally.